When will I ever be good enough?

When will I ever be good enough? the question that swamps my head all day everyday.

I'm not the girl I was a year and a half ago, I'm not ill and I'm certainly not skinny any more and that's just something I have to deal with and I get that I honestly do but my god I really wish I didn't!
I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is a big blob of human flesh and in all honestly it really gets me down. There are so many girls I know with perfect figures and absolutely beautiful and striking faces and there is no way on this earth that I could ever compete with anyone. not at all. not one bit.
I wish I didn't look the way I do, I wish I was a hell of a lot skinnier and my face not so ugly but I can't change the way I look and neither can you. I am who I am and if people are put off by my weight or my looks, well that's just that. I think I've kinda accepted that already. Who wants to be with the big girl?
But you can't let your thoughts and feelings stop you from living and having the best adventures ever, you've just got to take it on the chin and not give a shit. Go out into the world and just have an amazing time because you and I, we are both still human and we still want to have fun. We can't let ourselves be the barrier of walking out into the big wide world. x