Inner soft side

I say how I feel, I speak out when I don't agree with something, to be quite blunt about this I'd say I say things as it is. Sometimes that isn't such a good thing but others it's great. 

From the outside looking in you'd probably see me as a confident, outgoing, not afraid to speak her mind sort of girl.

But you'd be wrong. 

I cry a hell of a lot, I swear to you I could quite literally cry you a river. 

Although, I'm always out of the house, or if I'm in it I want to get out; whether I'm traveling or having this huge urge to explore and go to all different kinds of places like I always have. I wouldn't call myself a home bird not one bit, not at all, but my god will I miss it when I'm gone. I'll miss everything about it, but the main thing being my parents. 

From the outside looking in you'd probably see me as a very independent person, which I am but you'd have no idea how much I hate being alone sometimes and how much I really like to have one person beside me who I can totally rely on, who will come sit with me and watch shit tv and who overall I can just be with. A bad feature of myself is I always have one person out of everyone, who I just admire so much who I just throw all of my emotions towards but they have no idea because I keep it to myself of course. The point I'm trying to put across here is that no matter how much I say and act like I'm oh so independent, deep down I'm really not I do need people. 

I could go on for so much longer about how different I am from the outside than what I'm like on the inside but that would take me hours and I don't want to bore you all. 

I don't think anyone will ever be able to completely understand me for who i am on the inside because it's a very complicated place and you'd have to bash down layers and layers of walls before you got to the centre. In all honestly I don't think even I completely understand what's inside because there are times when I fell things I didn't even know I could feel. 

I have a soft side, and that's that, I can't change it, I can't help the feelings I have and no matter how independent or strong I may seem my soft side will never fade.